28 pancakes later…

my attention span is too short to get a tattoo.  one day i feel like i want kermit the frog on my body forever, the next i want a badass dragon with glowing eyes and he is battling satan over a precipice of decrepit, gruesome human souls trying to climb out of hell. but then the next day i would probably want an ironic pop culture reference like ‘cher’ or ‘kim wilde’ or ‘sam “mayday” malone.’

today is thursday, which has always been my favorite day.  these days my days seem to run together into one long thursday that i cannot complain about.  i might complain about it anyway, though, out of habit.

i ‘went to the gym’ today and found i do not know how to do these things correctly:

1. stretch
2. use the machines properly
3. do the ‘magic number’ of ‘reps’ and ‘sets’ that will make me ‘look like a badass when i “go shirtless.”‘
4. not feel very terrible afterward for several hours or maybe days if i really fucked up one of the first three things in this list.

but some time when i go, there will probably be another human being there, and he or she will probably feel sorry for me and enlighten me or just tell me to leave because i am ‘wrecking’ all the equipment with my ’embarrassing moves’ or something.  i do not know.  this is new for me.  i do not know how to interact with someone at a gym beyond the requisite ‘feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about how the other person is in much better shape than you are and probably thinks you are a wiener.’  but i am a fast learner, i think, so pretty soon i will be kissing my biceps and making other people uncomfortable with my brutal criticism of their person.  i think at that point i get to be in a movie or something?  like i said, i do not know how this works.

anyway, enough about me.  what the hell is going on in your world?  something great i hope!  i hope thursday brought you a present, like an ocarina or something equally badass and ‘alt.’

thank you for reading my comic today.  that makes me feel pretty great!